lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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