Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
