That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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