just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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