Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
why do cheetos always look like penises
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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