I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
