I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I have post one night stand depression
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
