I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
