How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
