i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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