what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize