I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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