btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
