never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I need water and some morals
My vagina is very pro this idea
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
