We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
