She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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