these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
