He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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