so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
