My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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