Who did Billy Mays play for?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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