She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
someone owes me an orgasm
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize