i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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