my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
