if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
