I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
