yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
