why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
