We're facebook friends in real life
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
