You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
