omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
