Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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