He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
