What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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