I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
What a dumb baby whore.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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