New invention idea: vibrating tampons
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
