Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We had sex on a dog bed..
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
