so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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