Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
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