I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
