Do you still have your period?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
