woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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