No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
