i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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