Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
