Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
