we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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