final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
