Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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