There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
