she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
