so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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