this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
