bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
