oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
