saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
