Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
