And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
