so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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