Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
